Caring For Elders - Six Signs That You May Be Too Controlling
Posted on Fri, Feb 11, 2011 @ 01:00 PM
By Hal Robertson
Caring for an elder is a job that is tough enough without having your elder turn against you. Any person who finds themselves in a position where they are going to be requiring assistance is not going to be a happy camper to begin with. How you handle the situation is going to - in large part - determine how your elder feels about the entire process as well as their feelings towards you.
It can't be stressed enough - as long as your elder is not suffering from dementia, or has a medical condition that doesn't allow for reasoned discussion - you need to include them in the process of determining a plan for short and perhaps long term care.
If you are concerned that you've given your senior the perception that you have taken over the entire process and in the process hurt their feelings or caused them to turn against you, take a look at the following six signs that may indicate you have indeed "taken over." If you find that these signs describe your situation, it's time to take a step back. Sit down and discuss the situation with your elder and have them help you get things back on track so that they are more involved in the decisions dealing with their care.
1. Do you ever find yourself talking with your elder like a parent would to a child vs. having a discussion adult to adult?
2. Do you find yourself making blind assumptions regarding your senior's needs and wants without even asking them?
3. Do you find yourself scheduling medical or social appointments without even asking your elder's preferences first?
4. Does your senior ever accuse you of trying to run their life?
5. Do you find yourself doing things for your senior that they could do for themselves with or without devices that could assist them? Doing things for themselves is very important for elders.
6. Do you shoot from the hip when offering suggestions prior to asking what your elder thinks about a particular issue? Do you even ask if they think there is actually an issue in play? If so, do you ask them to provide solutions or answers for the specific issue being discussed?
If you find that these signs describe the way you are "participating" in your senior's care, you really do need to take a step back and reassess the way you are going about things. Bring your elder in on the discussion and the decisions and you'll find they are going to be much happier with the situation in general and with you specifically.